What Unhealthy Enneagram Type 9s Really Look Like!
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Knowing that the Enneagram Type 9 is the peacemaker, it’s hard to imagine at first how that could reach an unhealthy level, right?
But just like all Enneagram types, we can be super unhealthy and not even realize it. And we do this because we’re trying to protect ourselves from a bigger fear.
In a Type 9’s case, that fear is losing peace or connection.
In Episode #88 of the Living Enneagram Podcast, I talk all about how it’s hard to see how we celebrate unhealthy 9s. They don’t stir up conflict and go with the flow - but according to God’s word, there are times we need to correct and call people out.
In certain circumstances, we are called to speak up and use our voices - especially in intimate relationships.
From the story of Ryan that we hear in the podcast, we know three things about unhealthy Enneagram Type 9s:
- Scared of losing harmony, peace, and connection with others
- Tendency to lash out or get angry when they hold back for too long
- Seek to create a false sense of peace within themselves and their relationships
But this can only lead to more unhealthy patterns and actually damaging relationships down the road. Now let’s talk about three ways you can combat this unhealthiness as a Type 9 on the Enneagram:
1. In order to avoid that “going with the flow” that can sometimes leave us silent rather than bold, Type 9s need to get to know themselves better.
When was the last time you spent time journaling? Or time alone with your thoughts? Or on a walk? Try new hobbies?
Type 9s need to do things apart from the roles they play in their every day lives. Otherwise, it’s hard to know what you personally enjoy doing, to know your voice and your thoughts and what you have to offer the world.
It will help you create more peace, which will lead you to show up so much better because you’re confident in who you are.
2. Sometimes an Enneagram Type 9 tends to lash out, and this is often a defense mechanism for something deeper.
Know that anger points to something you value. Take the step to learn what that is.
Often times they think they’re sinful for feeling angry. Emotions are a gift, but it’s how we handle them that matters most. The Bible says we are victims if we are controlled by our anger.
Take a deep breath and look inward. Figure out why that emotion exists. Then, what can you do to communicate this to the person you’re angry with, rather than holding back and avoiding the real problem? What action can you take next?
3. Type 9s often create this false perception of peace in order to avoid conflict.
But this doesn’t help anyone. But you need to realize that there is an abundance waiting for you when you get real with yourself.
When a Type 9 realizes that there is a new level of peace we find when we actually get honest with ourselves and other people, it’s so much more fulfilling than minimizing problems or staying silent. We just have to work at pushing through the initial discomfort.
And above all, know that the peace and direction you get from spending time with Jesus are the number one thing that’s going to sustain you.
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