Want to Stop Overthinking Your Decisions? Start Here - Gut Triad
When I was homeschooled growing up, we’d go to co-op classes on Mondays where we’d learn about art, speaking, or music with other homeschooled kids. I really enjoyed this for the most part, but there was one specific class I hated - and that was public speaking.
I remember having to give a speech about some Indian tribe I did research on and I was so anxious beforehand. Whenever I was outside playing soccer, I felt very confident, but the second you put me in front of the class...NO thanks. My mom had to literally drag me out of bed to get me to go.
As I gave my speech, I felt sick to my stomach, and then the worst part was because I was so anxious, the speech would go poorly.
Have you ever been in a situation where you have knots in your stomach like this? Or when you have to make certain decisions? There are times when you feel so vulnerable and exposed, you’d do anything to get yourself out of it. That’s how I felt, too. I wanted to run, and apparently I wanted to die because that’s what I told my mom.
Those in the Gut Triad often have these dramatic emotions and feelings when faced with a decision you don’t feel qualified to make. If you and I can figure out what’s keeping us from moving forward, then we have the solution and understand what needs to change.
In Episode #83 of the Living Enneagram Podcast, I dive into the three things that are causing you to overthink your decisions as an Enneagram Type 8, Type 9, or Type 1 (and if you're not in the Gut Triad, check out these episodes for the Heart Triad and the Head Triad)!
1. Not receiving affirmation from people
If you are a Type 8, Type 9, or Type 1, you often look for others to affirm your decisions. The second you don’t hear the affirmations, you start to doubt that decision. When you are at your healthiest, Enneagram types in the Gut Triad don’t necessarily need the affirmations and keep pushing forward. But in this average state of living where you’re being controlled by people’s input, it’s going to be a battle for you to confidently make decisions.
The Gut Triad types are so confident and strong, so it can be surprising to hear that they need affirmations from others. But it’s true. Often times, these types display security and strength to protect a tender part of their heart. This is not a bad thing, but it’s something to be aware of!
Are you being controlled by the Holy Spirit and the decisions that are put on your heart for a reason, or are you being controlled by affirmations from those around you (or lack thereof)?
2. The fear of messing up
I don’t think any Enneagram Type really wants to be a screw-up, right? But the Gut Triad types specifically want to be seen in an authoritative role. So when they mess up, they often believe this is a reflection of your character.
However, this is actually a false perception of what messing up actually is. If you are paralyzed by not taking action because of this fear, you’re always going to be stuck in this cycle and struggle to make decisions your whole life. There’s no way we can have a deep fear of messing up and still see the kind of success we want.
3. The fear of appearing insecure and weak
If someone says you seem timid, shy, uncertain, etc - this can set you off as an Enneagram type in the Gut Triad. You care so much about respect and authority, so when someone doesn’t see that in you, you take it personally. Because internally, you feel absolutely confident and strong.
For example, let's say you know you don't want to do something, but you second-guess it because, in someone else’s eyes, they’re going to see you as weak for not going through with the decision. You think, "What if that person gets the wrong idea about who I am?"
But here’s the thing. People are going to misjudge your character all of the time. That’s why you have to have your confidence in Jesus and the convictions you have.
If it’s based on other people’s perspectives, it’s actually a false perception of confidence and strength.
How Do We Overcome The Lack of Decision-Making as an Enneagram Type in the Gut Triad?
1. Realize that Christ’s perfection is the ultimate perfection.
Yes, out of love for Jesus, we get to walk in obedience and freedom with him. But it’s not a race to be perfect or have the most success. When you can recognize this, you no longer are striving for a perfect image or perfect choice in every circumstance.
2. Humility is actually super attractive in a leader.
When we “screw up” it is such a learning opportunity! Messing up is an opportunity to learn and grow, and also display leadership by owning it. You can say, “I don’t always look strong and confident or have it all figured out, but you can trust me because I’m going to be real” and that is going to increase so much trust with others - and with yourself, because you’re being authentic to who you are.
3. Reframe messing up as a means to opportunity.
I want you to ask yourself, “How many times can I mess up?” Make the decision, or the goal, to mess up as much as you can. Now, I can just see a Type 9 or Type 1 reading this, and their eyes getting really big at the very thought! But we have to die ourselves and overcome these natural tendencies of our personalities and experience freedom.
You do not have to be a slave to people’s affirmations or the fear of messing up or always having to appear super confident and strong. It’s okay to “show weakness” because it’s not actually a weakness - it’s a sign of true strength. Think about Jesus and the example he left for us. He came to serve in a “lowly position.” Some people didn’t see him as a King, but look at what he did.
It’s all about your mindset and what you choose to focus on! So, here is my question for you, Gut Triad friends: Are you willing to look foolish?
Follow Callie's Instagram @callieammons