If you have been an OG to the Living Enneagram Podcast and on my Instagram, you know all about my college volleyball days. I loved that experience, but there came a point my sophomore year when I began to question:
“Do I really want to be here at this school? Am I enjoying volleyball? Do I want to keep playing?”
At the time, Kramer and I were dating and living far away from each other and I really missed him. To be honest, I didn’t like the school itself either, so that didn’t help.
Even though I wasn’t really wanting to stay at the school, the decision to leave was still really hard for me. I couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation I would have to have with my coach about transferring. This terrified me. The thought of telling my parents why I wanted to transfer also terrified me. And same thing with the opinions of my roommates, friends, and teammates.
And then, what if I made the wrong decision?! What if I transferred and hated it?
This decision paralyzed me and kept me awake at night for a long time.
We uncover the lie that’s keeping you from making confident decisions in Episode # 82 of the Living Enneagram Podcast. This episode is catered toward the Enneagram types in the Head Triad: Types 5, 6, and 7 because they tend to struggle more than others with decision-making. However, this step-by-step process I give you can help anyone leave indecision in the dust!
Here’s how you can overcome that paralyzed feeling and battle against the lie that’s keeping you from making confident decisions:
1. Choose your "WHY"
If you’re ready to go to battle and overcome this, I’m going to help you figure out your “why” statement.
Why do you want to be better at making decisions?
When we have a solid reason to push through something that’s uncomfortable, we have a much easier time doing it. If there’s no reason to back up our goal, then why would we do it? That “why” is more powerful than your natural response, which is to hide and avoid making a choice.
If you stay stuck in indecision mode forever, what effect could that have on your life? What type of stress will that bring on?
On the other hand, what would that feel like to be a confident decision-maker? How would your life improve?
Let’s tie this into scripture:
Proverbs 29:35 says “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.”
When we don’t make a decision, almost 85% of the time it’s because we’re fearful of what people will say or think. But the Bible just told us if we don’t make a decision because of fear, it’s going to hold us captive. Instead, we need to trust in the Lord because he can be trusted and will show us where to go.
There are so many more verses in the Bible that tell us to trust the Lord. After all, he is the one whose opinion we should care about most. He is the one we will stand before when we go to heaven. Let’s add this to your WHY statement.
2. Start MAKING decisions
So many of us who are not naturally decisive - especially Enneagram types 5, 6, and 7 - end up letting others make decisions for us.
But here’s the thing: Every single time you don’t make a decision, you’re hurting yourself. I want to help you make a simple goal around this:
Start making FIVE decisions every single day.
And I want you to really look for opportunities to make these decisions. If it’s what you’re going to eat, that’s great. Let’s start there. Decide what your three meals will be at the beginning of the day. There are three decisions right there.
Do you always ask someone else what you should wear or change five times before settling on an outfit? Today, you’re going to make that decision all on your own and pick the first one you put on.
Yes, these are little examples, but it’s the little decisions that add up. When you’re constantly asking for help with the small things, you will continue to struggle with the BIG decisions. You have not exercised the muscle of decision-making.
Start putting yourself in a position to be a decision-maker.
3. Tell yourself the story: “I AM decisive”
So many of you are out there saying something along the lines of, “I hate making decisions. I'm so bad at it and always will be.”
You have to get rid of this negative self-talk. What we think in our mind shapes our behavior. If you are constantly speaking negatively about your inability to make decisions, you’ll probably stay that way.
Instead, tell yourself: “I’m a decisive person. I love problem-solving and I’m confident in myself and in God to make a decision and end up where I’m supposed to be.” Set yourself up for success in your head.
Believe that you can be decisive. Because guess what? In the name of Jesus, you CAN be!
Seek God in Your Decisions
If you’re making a big decision, make sure you’re prayerful about it and take the initiative to make that decision in confidence. God is so faithful to do what He needs to do.
If you approach it with seeking Him with all of your heart through that decision-making process, He’s going to bless that and guide you along the way.
You won’t always know what the right decision is, but God cares above all that your heart is seeking to trust Him in those decisions.
What decisions have you made lately and how did you feel once you committed to them?
Follow Callie's Instagram @callieammons