How To Heal Emotionally
Start cleaning! You ask: “Callie, what on earth? I clicked on this to read about how to heal myself emotionally”…to that I say: “Yeah, so start cleaning. And make sure you clean deep into all of the crevices! Get it all!”
Healing myself emotionally has been really hard and challenging recently, so it’s kind of funny how pumped I am to share this with you. I wanna help you learn how to do the deep work; the deep cleaning to help you experience growth because of how much it has helped me.
When we put the time and effort in to really understand ourselves, we can move forward and become the person God created us to be. There are so many things in our sinful nature that can be distracting or keep us from true growth and true freedom in Christ. Until we do some deep work to move past these things, we’re not going to be living in the true abundance that God intended for us.
My hope in sharing this with you is so that you can experience more freedom and clarity in your life and become closer to God.
Clean Your House
So, Kramer and I move a lot. But if you follow me, you already know that, lol. We most recently moved into a house in Northwest Arkansas in October. We were so pumped to get into a house again because we had been living in an apartment. This was our 5th or 6th move together…I’m struggling to keep track these days.
We bought the house from an elderly couple who had multiple dogs. They only moved out 2 days before we moved in! We were so excited to move in, but immediately as we opened the doors, the dog smell overwhelmed us…ugh! We had a lot of cleaning to do. Ironically, we have a history of choosing houses that have had a lot of animals so we often have to do a fair amount of deep cleaning and sometimes even remodeling. It honestly smelled like this house hadn’t been deep cleaned in 20 years.
So anyway, we got to work and began popping off the transition pieces on the floor – we took anything we could take off in the house, and we kept finding dog hair, clumps of it, and you could even smell urine in some spots…we put a lot of time and effort into cleaning to make it smell good. 8 days to be exact. Yep, deep cleaning can take time!
So why do I tell you this? Because if all we did was vacuum, give it a quick dusting and mopping of the floors, our house would still smell bad because the source of the bad smell was still stuck in deep places. It had accumulated over years and years. Stuck in tight crevices that were making the whole place smell bad.
Every single square inch you can think of, we cleaned. The house was going to smell terrible until we found and dealt with the source of where the bad smell was coming from. Sure, it would have been ten times easier (now) to dust and vacuum and mop and move our stuff in right away. But instead, we spent 8 days deep cleaning the house; nearly every single hour of our waking day! And now it smells really, really good and it FEELS clean.
The point here is that you cannot quickly cover up a problem when it has been there for years and years and the source is coming from deep within. You have to find where that bad smell is coming from and you have to tackle it head-on in order to get rid of it. Same thing in our lives. There are issues in all our lives that will not move unless we do the deep work that it takes to understand where they’re coming from.
Bring The Dirt To The Surface – Facing And Voicing Your Fears And Struggles
Recently, I’ve been moving through a lot of hard emotional things. I’m in a new season of work which has brought so many things to the surface. It’s highlighted problems I have on my heart that I never realized were there before. I’m gonna be completely vulnerable and open here…one issue is:
I think I have a lack of trust in God.
There, I said it. Truly trusting my provider feels sticky to me right now. I’ve been struggling to believe that he’ll do the things he says he’ll do for me. And you can’t fake it for that long. When you start having breakdowns or the anxiety infiltrates your life and you’re really just battling your way through, you realize there’s an issue. I always thought I trusted Him, so this realization was really hard for me to accept.
So how do we do this deep work in order to find freedom in our lives? I know that sometimes, while we might know there’s a bad smell in our house, we don’t really know where the problem is coming from. For example, when we feel sad or hurt by something, we don’t really know why and we just brush it off and push it away so that we can move on because it’s too hard to figure out where it’s coming from.
Usually, I’m very optimistic and I hate negativity. Negative people drive me insane. It feels really toxic to me. I genuinely believe in thinking in a positive way and being futuristic and focusing on who Jesus has called us to be rather than focusing on the negative things, BUT…
Sometimes we have to slow down and face the negative things. I’m learning that just because something is negative, doesn’t always make it bad. Slowing down and giving our attention to the hard, heart stuff going on within is not a sign that your life is falling apart, or that you’re weak, or something is really messed up in your life. My whole life I’ve believed the lie that it’s bad if I cry or have a breakdown, or even if something happens that just doesn’t feel optimistic in my life, then I tell myself things are going downhill and this is bad, bad, bad.
A lot of the times, we shouldn’t press on, pull our crap together and keep moving like we do. Sure, on the outside we may look like these nice, Christian women with not a care in the world, while inside us the turmoil and tension are building. Sometimes God needs us to take a step back to do the deep work. Doing this is actually a sign of maturity, growth, wisdom, and humility which allows the Holy Spirit to come in and meet us right where we are. It gets dangerous when we try to bulldoze straight past it; that’s the real sign that something is not right internally, even though you might be putting on a positive front.
It’s so important to be in tune with our hearts and where they actually are. For me now, the plain optimism and moving straight through things is a red flag that lets me know I MUST slow down. When we slow down, we can sit with God and ask him to reveal what’s really on our hearts. We need to go internal to find what is not on the righteous path that God has set for us; to uncover what we are ignoring.
Doing The Deep Cleaning
Here are a few steps on how to clean yourself internally and heal emotionally…
- In order to do the deep work in our lives so we can experience freedom, we have to recognize we are the problem…and that’s hard! But when we can do this, we also realize that we’re the solution to the problem. When we understand this, Jesus is waiting to help us heal our hearts.
- Track it and pull it out – just like with the bad smell, we have to find the root cause to get that odor out. Finding the source of the problem and pulling it out is the hardest stage because it really does take a lot of deep work. To do this, keep a journal or use the notes app in your phone and just keep track of whenever you have a feeling related to something you know you struggle with (for me, it’s trust) and make a note of what triggered it and what it felt like. You’ll begin to see a pattern and become so much more aware of what’s going on for you internally.
- Talk to God about it to help you move through the emotions. Sometimes the fruit of step 2 can feel really overwhelming when you see it all written down. But that’s actually kind of a good thing. It means you’re becoming more self-aware and when that happens you gain more self-control. Lay it out there for God – he is not expecting you to come to him with perfect prayers. Currently, my prayers to God go a little something like: “God, why am I struggling to trust you? I don’t trust you and I don’t know why. Please reveal this to me”. The more you just start talking through what you’re thinking and feeling, the more he will be by your side revealing the answers to you. He is on your team, sis. He wants to set you free. He wants you to live in abundance. But you can’t do that if you’re trapped in this bondage. He’s on your team, you just have to talk to him about it.
- Fight out the lies with the truth. We’ve been training ourselves in negative patterns for so long. We have to know the truth in order to fight back with it. The second the lies pop into your head, try telling them they are not welcome here…that you are a child of God who is growing in righteousness, on the path of abundance and fruitfulness. Tell them that your calling is too great to be distracted by them.
So many people are living in bondage because this is hard, deep work. Jesus knows this. That’s why we are told to ‘pick up our cross’, or ‘lay down our lives’ or to ‘lose yourself in order to find Him’. But just as Jesus is with us in this walk, we also need to take ownership of our own lives and stop blaming other people for our problems. We won’t find freedom and abundance until we choose to take ownership and realize that we are the solution to our own problems.
My prayer is that you find freedom in your life. That you have the courage to do the deep cleaning needed to set you free. Keep doing the work to know who you are, whose you are in Christ, and to move forward with your life so that you can step into more fruitfulness and draw closer to Jesus, but also so you can impact more and more people every single day.
Enneagram Life Coaching Can Help You Do This Deep Cleaning
I finished my Enneagram Life Coaching certification at the beginning of December…Woooo! I learned so much, but I am still so excited to continue to learn – the Enneagram is so complex! Sooooo, yeah, this means I am officially an Enneagram Life Coach. I am looking to coach highly motivated women who are healthy in life but they know there’s more they can do to grow and better themselves. As an Enneagram Life Coach, I help women focus on the future and to step into the person God has created them to be. If this interests you, DM me on Instagram @callieammons or email me firstname.lastname@example.org and let’s chat!
To hear me talk through this on the Living Intentionally Podcast, listen to episode 55. If you listen, screenshot and throw it up on your IG and tag me @callieammons, that way I can also feature you on my Instagrams – it helps spread hope to others and keeps me inspired and on the ball with what you guys are liking.